apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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