neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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