I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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