buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
