No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
