I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You were trust falling into bushes
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
