i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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