Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
