On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
