why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
zippers are such a cool invention
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
