i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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