my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
