yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm drive I can fine osifer
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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