I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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