It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
