He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
