walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Did I show you my penis last night?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
