The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
