do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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