I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize