what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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