She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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