if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
