Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
