Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
