I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My dick has a subreddit
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize