Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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