she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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