I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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