Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
