i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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