I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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