he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize