I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
