This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
