We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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