Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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