we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
