You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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