he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
