Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
