At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
