and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
