its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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