Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just had sex on a roof
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
