Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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