Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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