I seem to have left my pride at pride
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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