Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
