I love black thongs
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
