SEEEEXXX PLEASE
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize