he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize