god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize