she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize