im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
