: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
