yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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